Pastor YC "Psalm 80: Restoration"

Psalm 80 means a lot to me personally (as a pastor) and as a member of FCBC.

I remembered how God called me to become a pastor even when was in school. I entered the ministry full of hope and confidence that I was going to be victorious as a pastor and glory lay ahead of me. Surely if God calls, then He must have prepared the road for me!

That got all shaken up when I went through the setbacks in ministry. Many of the people I failed to shepherd were the very same ones that I spent the most time with, gave the most to. The very areas of ministry I believe the Lord gave to me, I could not even teach my own people.

PS 80:4 O LORD God Almighty, how long will your anger smolder against the prayers of your people?

It was the same for FCBC - in the 1990s we were the "hottest church in town" - 12k members in those days when the "competition" were not even close. Yet in the recent years, my beloved church went through such a difficult patch and negative sentiments saturated the scene, both in and out of the church. More members left the church and very few christians would even consider coming.

PS 80:12 Why have you broken down its walls so that all who pass by pick its grapes?

Yet today, by God's sovereign hand, miraculously I received closure about all of these. At the Week of Sanctification meeting that we had at church, God simply pin-pointed the crux of the issues.

I was led to pray against all the negative comments and curses, especially of those from those who left unhappily. I prayed that the "arrows of slander" would not harm us and that God will deal with these.

On a personal front, amazingly I realised that what I could not get over was NOT forgiveness of past issues, it was letting go of present day expectations. In my honest sincerity (in my wife's words "你满单纯的"), I still harboured hopes and expectations that one day, these individuals will finally respond to my sincerity and love. I just could not believe that rejection could be the response towards self-sacrificing sincerity.

Today I nailed all thsoe expectations to the cross. Jesus alone has met all those expectations. I can let them go.

revive us, and we will call on your name. Restore us, O LORD God Almighty; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved.